Happy birthday!

So it seems that I have finally reached the ripe old age of 21 (as of 4 days ago). How strange to think that when I was a child of four or five I thought that by the time I reached 21 the whole world would finally make sense, I would probably be married, be a mum, have a job. Have all the answers...

How wrong I was.

I'm almost 100% sure now that nobody will ever have all the answers, whether they are 21 or 90 years old. I'm almost 100% sure that every year I will think that maybe this new coming year will finally give me a sense of knowing who I am, what the world is, how I fit into the grand scheme of things, how everyone around me fits into my scheme. I'm still waiting.

But I've decided that maybe it's time to stop waiting. Maybe it's time to stop caring. Because I think these questions will remain always unanswered.

And maybe that's a very pessimistic and cynical view of things, but maybe there's also a strange sense of hope in that. If none of us know, then at least we're all in the same boat, it's not just me who feels a little lost sometimes.

So 20 was another tough year and here I am, still typing away and bringing you along on my journey (whoever you are, if your anyone!). A tough year, but wow, what an experience... And so the clogs keep turning, cars keep streaming the streets, the tide rolls in and out again, and still here we are, living, breathing proof that life is worth all the stresses.

Because to be alive... well what experience can beat that?

The Lion King, West End

Never in my life have I seen a stage production that has blown me away with quite so much force as the Lion King. It is, in a word, outstanding. The scenery and costumes make it, but the songs and acting are also good.
Everytime you feel that they've surpassed themselves, they go on to do one more thing that makes you just want to stand up and shout 'this is amazing'.
The opening scene was so spectacular it bought tears to my eyes, literally. Sometimes things make you feel that way I guess. From people standing on stilts to make giraffes, to the leaping guiselles.

I was a little worried that it would not live up to the hype, having wanted to desperately see it for two years. I wasn't disappointed however. It probably did help that me and my mum flukily ended up in the PP seats (priority persons). These would be the best seats in the house reserved for founders of the theatres and donors of the show etc, they release the tickets on the day, and we got them. hurrah!

So what would I suggest you go to see at the theatre this year? This summer? Tomorrow? The Lion King. It will blow your mind.

For S.M, 7 months and 2 days... too long

Terrifying, but for what reason?

I have a lot of sympathy for the majority of Muslims, struggling to live in the current climate of terrorism - whether real or fabricated (I don't have enough knowledge of the inner working of government to know). The few are effecting the majority for very much the negative, and now we find that the (minority) of the great British public are now setting fire to mosques in retaliation to the alleged terror plot.
And so the hatred grows.

However, I have to admit I was a little confused to view an interview with a young muslim of Channel four news who said something along the lines of "I know why these people have turned to these awful actions. It is because of society. It is because of the alcohol. It is because of the drugs. It is because of the rap music."

Hmmm? Okay maybe. But where was "It is because of the religious nutcases, praying on our young people's anger and insecurities and turning it into hatred so strong they would die for their beliefs."

I understand that the Muslim community is shaken. But, I am a 20 year old (the age of many of the newest plotters) London citizen of no religion, who is also exposed to the society that the Muslim youngsters are. I don't take drugs, but I get drunk and listen to the odd rap song. I am exposed to hatred within my home town (Croydon) where racism is a problem, and I've been ignored in McDonalds in favour of a black girl serving a black boy. But it doesn't make me wish to strap a tone of explosives to my back and blow a plane into the sky.

I think it's time that religions begin to look within themselves. It is fair enough to look at society and say yes there are problems here, and maybe we aren't treated in the right way, but 'fundamentally' the problem lies within the teachings of a group of extremists who manage to capture these children's minds with promises of what will be rewarded for them if they die for their cause.

I understand that many of the families are saying that there sons and daughters (one of whom is only 17) are peaceful, that they wouldn't do this. Maybe they wouldn't. Maybe it is a set up. Maybe the government is covering its back and once again heightening fear in order to prepare us for whatever titbit of fun they've got in store in terms of the middle east.

But the boy who had this interview obviously believed they were guilty and this was his reasoning. I don't know, the world is so crazy at the moment. These stories keep coming, fear and death and mass destruction. Who knows where the source is coming from?

I just don't remember ever drinking a bottle of 'Blow Up Planes Fun'?

V for Vendetta... "Fear became the ultimate tool for this government". Sound a little familiar?

It’s so refreshing to watch a film that made my mind want to explode with questions and possibility and constantly say ‘that’s so clever’.

V for Vendetta, starring Natalie Portman and a masked Hugo Weaving tells the story of a supposed terrorist who is trying to save England from its corrupt government, under the guise of a Guy Fawkes, November 5th type character.

Though a work of fiction, V for Vendetta is beginning to slink very close to home. It is set in a dystopian, fascist future in London, where the media and speech are controlled and spindoctored.

How weird that I should watch it the night before the newest terrorist attacks on planes have been foiled. (which of course come as we support the new plans for Lebanon and have an unconvicted ‘terrorist’ who spoke out about being beaten and shot by police arrested for child pornography).

Watch this film. If you are even slightly cynical as to the truth of our government, if you are angry with the running of our country, with the war on Iraq, if you are sceptical of a government that can release the faces of 'terrorists' before they have been convicted into the press, despite the UK's 'innocent until proven guilty' tagline, then this film is one you MUST watch.

Check out some of the more indepth quotes at Wikipedia.

V: Good evening, London...I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.
There are of course those who do not want us to speak.
I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power.
Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the annunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?
Cruelty and injustice, intolerance, and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, think, and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillence coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.
How did this happen? Who's to blame?
Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it.
I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease.
There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence.

R.I.P little friend

Rest in peace to our little spikey friend, who fell in our drain and drowned and is now in the wheely bin. God speed ...

Happening already...

I read Roman's blog today, Me Against the Keyboard, and saw a post about how Rupert Murdoch has taken over Myspace.

Bollocks.

Read further down this page and you'll see a post about the internet becoming regulated. It seems we're well on our way...

Some things I've seen or heard recently that have made me think....

Excellence knows no gender.
(on a poster in the background of the film - Save the last dance)

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
(Peter Pan, in the closing scenes of Neverland)

Always write, everyday, until it becomes the most natural thing in the world.
(the performer, poet, broadcaster and playwrite, Ian McMillan)